So yesterday was NOT a good day. One of those days where you are just plugging along thinking life is going great. God is totally on my side and I am in His will. I am making good choices and things are coming together and then – WHAP! It all comes to a screeching halt and you realize that you have gone down a rabbit hole – and not only that, it’s the wrong rabbit hole!!!
Not to get all Debbie Downer, but I want to be real with you and share what happened to my heart through out the day. There was this job that I was excited about. It sounded challenging, interesting, and seemed to be a great fit for my life. I worked hard, interviewed well, and got an offer. The WHAP came when they told me the salary. I was thinking this was going to be THE stepping stone for me, they were looking for an entry-level clerical person. Simple case of miscommunication and misunderstanding. No big deal right?
Then Satan took hold of it. Paula – you know you really aren’t worth a decent salary. You have no worthwhile skills. What have you done for the past 20 years except drive your kids to the doctor, make sure the snack bin was full and keep the toilets clean? You are totally fooling yourself. What are you thinking? Job? You?
And my human response was like this. Culvers – Butterburger with cheese basket meal…. onion rings….. Diet root beer….
And then later Chinese food.
See those yummy almond cookies? Yup I ate all 6 of them. Big Jon thinks they taste like cardboard, but I love them! Oh, and I may have had a glass of wine while consuming the above calories. I mean, why not at this point?
The best part of this Itty Bitty Setback comes next. I am so thankful to share that God stepped in around 8:30 last night and showed me what I had done! I had let Satan rule my thoughts and lead me down a destructive path. One filled with self-doubt, and loads of calories!
I am not only worthy, I am His creation. Precious in His sight. He knows every hair on my head and loves every one of them. So as I stared down at the incredible dinner I had just devoured I realized that this was not the plan. This was not what He wanted for me. I thanked God for his consistency in my inconsistency. Thanked Him for knowing our Plan and bringing me back to it. And, I know this is a little crazy, but I prayed for an awesome fortune cookie message that I could share with you tonight.
Oh yeah, I didn’t eat the fortune cookie. Didn’t need to 🙂